Strange Noises Fiction by Rachel Greenham

“Hey, Tani-baby!” Sam calls lazily across the bar when I step back into the cool of the inn’s interior. “You’re back.” She’s lounging on a comfy chair near the stove with something in her arms.

“Is it all right?” I ask, feeling catty. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to intrude on a human thing.”

“Aw c’mon, don’t be like that! That wasn’t my idea, was it?”

I sigh and cross over to where she’s sitting. “I s’pose. Not as if I was going to be any use anyway. Where did you get that?” I ask, seeing the small baby sleeping in her arms.

“Ah, funny you should ask that,” Sam extemporised. “Come on, sit down.”

I sit in one of the other chairs.

“It’s Beni’s little one. In’t she the sweetest thing?” Sam twisted fractionally so I could see the baby’s face. “She and Jalese just went off to talk to Hethan about stuff. I think Jalese’s looking to get her old job back permanently.”

“Can’t say I blame her,” I say.

“So muggins here got left holding the baby.”

“Well, what can I say?” I say. “You look very maternal.”

Sam sticks her tongue out at me. “I’ve always been a softie for babies,” she says, looking at the baby’s face. “Put me in a girlskin and drop someone’s baby in my lap and suddenly people say I look maternal. I’m not doing anything different. Go figure.”

“Ew, girlskin? That’s an image I didn’t need.”

“Bit Silence of the Lambs innit.” She flashes one of Lee’s grins at me. “I dunno, feels a bit like that sometimes. Like I’ve been sewn into this skin and now that’s all anyone’s ever going to see.”

I can only stare at her, for expressing in so few words what I’ve felt my whole life. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” I say quietly. Let her think I’m like her; feeling this only now. “So how are you feeling now?” I ask, feeling awkward about it but thinking I probably should. “You look better.”

“Mmm.”

“And you didn’t go to work!” I add, suddenly realising.

“No, well, Jalese basically threatened to get Hethan to tie me to my bed if I tried—”

“What?”

“And then she made this nice tea, see?” She points to an empty cup on the table next to her. “She said it would help me relax, which is a hell of an understatement. After the first cup I could hardly stand, and she just keeps it coming. I dunno what’s in it, but it does exactly what it says on the tin.” She smiles wryly. “They were both drinking it too. We were having a right laugh. Maybe it’s just recreational. Anyway apparently it’s normal for women to not do physical work while they’re, you know…”

“Oh, no, I didn’t know that.”

Sam shrugs, carefully so as to not disturb the baby. “Good for a skive, innit?” she says.

“So it’s started then,” I say.

She shakes her head. “Anyway, it’ll be an interesting experiment, won’t it?” she says brightly. “You know how women like to say ‘oh you men, you couldn’t handle it.’ I guess now we’ll know.”

“I thought that was childbirth,” I point out.

“So not gonna happen.”

“Well, you never know,” I say, possibly not helpfully.

“Look, if I get pregnant it’s ’cause I’ve been raped. And I’ll get rid of it first chance I get. Got that?”

“Um—”

“Got that?” Sam follows up insistantly.

“Okay, I got it.”

“I’m not into guys, okay? Not now, not ever.”

“Okay. I didn’t mean—”

Sam sighs. “Yeah, I know. I’m just…” She trails off.

“Yeah.”