Strange Noises Fiction by Rachel Greenham

Introductions introductions. I'm already feeling overwhelmed, like I did that first night when the Satthei introduced me to her guests at Denhall. This time we're in the formal garden. There's a fountain -- I wonder how it's pumped -- and precisely laid-out flowerbeds and a lawn, and a colonnade around the sides away from the house itself, affording a high view over the city. Paper lanterns hang from ornate poles. I already know I'm going to have bad dreams tonight. I just keep Ateis's hand in mine and nod and smile and shamelessy divert attention to Ateis whenever I can. She actually enjoys it. Asuti is presented to the gathering by Alison. She really does look lovely, in a beautiful, glittery white dress with her hair done up in elegant braids and a jewelled headpiece. There's no way I could have done anything to compete with that, which doesn't exactly help my mood, but I try to be happy for her. She's having such a lovely time. She has an almost permanent blush on, which it's very charming. I meet Sarelis and her husband; the Neri I'd seen briefly in the inn forecourt next to the street market. I'm not the only one to notice, this time, how much she looks like Ateis, and Fareis for that matter. Eventually I just ask. "Are you... are you related to the Satthei Fareis?" She drops her eyes for a moment, then looks hard at me. "Yes, I'm her daughter. So what?" I don't know how to react. "Did you... How did you feel when you learned about the attack?" She just shrugs. "Storms will befall." It's a generic, 'shit happens' kind of thing to say. "Did she ever even mention me?" I shake my head. "I'm sorry. What happened? Why did you leave?" "Oh, the usual thing." She returns her gaze to me. "I fell in love, and that's not allowed. Everyone's supposed to adore the Satthei. You know," she says, and presumptively puts her hand on my breast, through the brocade facing of my bodice. "You understand, don't you? We were not meant to be sexless drones all our lives. We have as much right to love and happiness as any other human." I cover her hand with mine and remove it from my breast as politely as I can. "You believe we are human then?" I ask. "Can you doubt it?" She smiles. "It took someone like Lord Hajarean to point out what should be so obvious. We've been enslaved for so long by these myths. More and more of us are finding out we don't have to be our mothers' slaves." "And someone's trying to kill them," I reply. "Do you think that's a coincidence? Do you think it's just the slavers?" She looks discomfited. "I don't know." "Don't you miss anyone from the ship?" I think she does. She only says, "Please excuse me, I need to sit." Her hand is on her belly. "Of course. When is your baby due?" That should be a safe subject anyway. "Any day now. It's been a pleasure meeting you, Taniel." She takes her leave. "I don't like her," Ateis says. I don't think she really caught on that they are sisters. At least half-sisters. Ateis would have been born years after Sarelis left the ship, under what circumstances I can only guess. "She's carrying bad feelings," I say. I try to imagine what it must have been like, standing up to the Satthei. Fareis awes me enough even when she's being nice. Sarelis has the same arrogance; a similar hardness below the surface, but lacks the grace of ages to pull it off with lightness; at least to my eyes. Perhaps the encounter wasn't representative, I think. After all, she's recently heard that her mother and the house she grew up in might have been destroyed, and she's determined not to let it bother her, for reasons of her own. I'm distracted by another new arrival. Two new arrivals. I imagine the first is Master Feran. He has the air of a ship's master; a natural habit of command. But it's his companion who takes all my attention. A Reki male. For a moment I thought it was Kerilas, but after that moment I can see it isn't; it's only an ethnic similarity, and I've seen no other Reki the whole time I've been in Jeodin. Tall, beautiful like a Greek god, with long white hair plaited down his back, a silver circlet on his head, and a long white tunic with silver brocade. He moves among the guests almost like a ghost, bending to speak in Lord Hajarean's ear for a moment after Haji finished greeting the master. Then he moves on, greeting people civilly. I watch him sit with Sarelis and her husband and talk. Invited, his hand rests on her belly for a moment, and he smiles and congratulates her. I watch the two young Neri entranced by his beauty, his grace, and realise I must have the same expression and turn away, pulling Ateis with me. I want to find Sam. Ateis follows me, her head turned as far around as it will go, still watching him. "Taniel." His voice, behind me, is beautiful too. I turn and face him. He's like something half-remembered out of a childhood dream. In months of being here, living among elves, seeing myself as one in the mirror, I have not met anyone who so embodied everything I ever imagined faerie could be. "Mm-hm?" I ask, gazing at him, and completely embarrassing myself. He smiles, amused. "Don't worry, I'm not going to eat you." "Oh." I realise that almost sounds disappointed. The crude image that suddenly throws into my mind breaks the spell and I start giggling. Damn it, I think I _am_ disappointed though. He laughs too, as if he's in on the joke. I bloody hope he isn't. He drops to one knee to come face to face with Ateis. "You must be Ateis," he says to her. "You're Fareis's youngest, aren't you?" Ateis nods. "You're beautiful," she says. He laughs again. "And so are you both," he says, with a look to me that sets my heart pounding again. Seriously, those eyes are too blue. They're doing something to me. My body yearns for something, and I'm pretty sure I know what. I just hope I'm not being too obvious about it on the outside. There's an echo of this sensation in Taniel's older memories too, like a distant warning. He puts his hands under Ateis's arms and lifts her, easily, so she can sit at his hip and be at eye level with the grown-ups. "There, that's better, isn't it?" he says. "Yes." He looks to me again. "I should introduce myself, of course. My name is Seronas. Haji tells me you've come from that same other realm as he. You must tell me about it. I'm eager to corroborate the incredible stories he's told me. Is it true that you have sent expeditions of men to the Moon?" "Well," I start, having to make my brain somehow available for conversation again, "not me personally. But yes, we have." I think I wish Hajarean hadn't told him that much about me. "And not by the means you have come here, but in a craft of metal propelled by fire?" "Um, something like that, yes." He's leading me away from the main group into the colonnade around the garden, with Ateis still carried on his other side. She seems engrossed in the view afforded by this new elevation. "Is it true you have no memory of this world before you came here?" "You mean do I have the original Taniel's memories?" I ask. He nods. "Only a few, that come to the surface at random. Moments in time. I remember learning to play the box-harp in my mother's arms. I don't... I don't remember her face. It gets mixed up with my... memories of my other mother." "Indeed." "I remember when the ship was attacked. I remember... she was burning. Very few other memories. Just vague impressions." "It must be very disorienting for you." "It gets better as time goes on, and I gain more memories of this place for myself." "Do you want to get down now, little one?" he asks Ateis, presumably in response to some small fidget. "Yes." He sets her down on the tiled floor of the colonnade and she runs off ahead of us. "She's very sweet, isn't she?" Seronas observes. "Yes, I've become very fond of her." "It seems you've taken it upon yourself to look after her, since she lost her mother." "We don't know she's dead," I say quickly. "Anyway, we share. We all look after the kids. I suppose we've become a sort of family." "And if Satthei Fareis is destroyed?" "Haven't really thought in the long term yet," I say. "Not until we know for sure." I stop to look out at the view of the city; the lamps coming on; the sun, lately set, still brightening the sky towards the horizon. "Have you given thought to you both staying here, in Jeoda?" "Yes," I admit. "It's a lovely city." "We are free here," he says quietly. "Aren't you afraid of me at all?" "Why should I be?" "I am Reki. I'm sure you have heard tales of us before now." "I refuse to believe race alone determines if one is good or evil," I say. "You've shown me no cause to fear you. It would be unjust of me to do so, don't you think?" "Is this how everyone thinks in that other world?" "No." I pull away from him, only to sit on a stone bench between a pair of columns. I look at him, watching me. "Ateis is right," I say. "You are beautiful." He smiles, indulgently I think. "I know you must think me a foolish child," I say. "I do not." "I don't... I don't do this normally---" "Oh God, that's such a lame cliché," I add in English. He laughs gently, and sits on the bench next to me. "Would you do something for me, Taniel?" "Yes." The word comes to my lips reflexively. A little late, I ask "What?" "Close your eyes." I obey. It's just a bit of fun. Maybe he'll put a spider in my hand or something. "Now what?" I ask. "Now do not open them until you are told to." "Okay." I giggle, but I don't open my eyes. He doesn't say any more, and as I sit quietly the sounds of the garden seem to grow around me. The nearby birds and insects, the faint wind through the colonnade, the sounds of the party across the lawn, and behind me, the city, coming alive for the evening and beyond even that, the sea; a sound that's almost not a sound but a huge presence. And my own breath answering it. Only mine. "Are you still there?" I ask, almost a whisper. "Yes." His voice is right where it was before. He hasn't moved. "What are you doing?" "Must one do? May one not simply be?" "Are your eyes closed too?" I ask. "No." My breath catches. "Are you looking at me?" I ask. "Yes." God, but it feels amazing, knowing he's there, looking at me. I smile, feeling cheeky."Then you're doing something," I point out. His answer, when it comes, is a whisper very close to my ear. "And you are very noisy." I shut up. I have to stop myself giggling a little though, for winning that little point. I feel his hand on mine, where mine rests on the wide folds of my dress. Then he takes my hand, and supports it from underneath, and with a little instructive pressure there, as I feel him stand next to me, I rise to my feet. We walk further along the colonnade in silence, then he leads me down the few steps to the path across the lawn. We're heading back towards the party. I giggle slightly. "What is it?" he asks. "I'm just imagining," I say, "that only when no-one can see you can you show your true form. And... If I open my eyes, the spell will be broken." He chuckles quietly. "I assure you I am unchanged. This is my only form. But it is true that the spell will be broken when you open your eyes." I know that the Jeodine word for 'spell' has no figurative sense. But I don't care. This is so wonderful. I feel so attuned to my body right now. The feel of the bodice enclosing my breasts, of the petticoats around my legs, of the breeze in my hair and of the arousal between my legs. I haven't felt this before. But I have. Something about it is familiar and comforting. And I know I can open my eyes any time I want to. I don't want to. I don't want this to stop. I hear Ateis running to catch up with us. I feel her taking my other hand. "Are you all right, littlest one?" I ask. "I'm hungry." "I'm sure food will be served soon," Seronas says mildly. "Look, the table's ready." Ateis lets go of my hand, and I hear her running off ahead again. "Where's she going?" I ask. "She's joining the other children near the table." I become a little nervous as the sounds of people grow before me, then around me. I release his hand so I can link my arm with his instead, and I feel more secure. We're back amongst the party. Music is playing. Someone playing on a box-harp, accompanied by hand drums. Seronas stops to exchange a few words with people every now and then, and I stay by his side. Sometimes someone addresses me, and I respond. Small talk. Smile towards the unseen speaker. When we're alone again I ask, "No-one's noticing. Is that your doing?" "Of course. Shall we dance?" He's not really asking, of course, and in moments I am being swept into a dance with the grass under my feet. I can hear soft voices and the swish of my dress. I don't know this dance... but my feet do. I have to stop trying to remember the occasion I danced this dance before, and just let my body do what it already knows how to do. "Are we the only ones dancing?" I ask. He doesn't answer. His hands are always there, when I need direction, and I dance where he leads me, blind, on the cool grass. It feels like flying.